Re-write of my angry-ass rant

Don't ask me how I'm doing cause I'm not gonna fucking tell you it's alright
I just got here from a land of dusty steeples and beer cans and daddy's aren't always around
and for the past few weeks I've been crawling like an escaped laboratory dog over the sidewalks covered in the grime of man with ash on my skin and smoke in my chest and nails in my hands as my heart hits the bone with such a sordid and delicious thud
lookin for her stairs
lookin for her stairs
lookin for Mercy's stairs
and falling every time she turned on her light to tell me I'd found a place that would hold me
remembering the toiling in T Town and how Alabama treated me so wrong and put poison in my veins and and scars on my girlfriends and holes in my eyes
blind to the sun and waiting for the dawn
waking only to find Queen Belladonna twisted and purging addies and jack into the dying weeds and cigarette embers while middle aged harpies and sons of moonshiners tried to save my poor starving soul
but my sins were my jewels becasue they belonged to me no matter how bitter the rust tasted in my bleeding throat
I remember choking on the rocks where the cotton wouldn't grow
I remember being tied at birth by neon wolves
I remember breaking free and then being dragged back by my long tangled hair wasted howling and born
and dreaming of a stranded life amongst sparks of emerald strewn across the desert land
just blasting away into the not quite infinite nothing where it's all gunpowder bliss and it's it's no not what I was after but I hope I still know what I'm after
as I spit into the void of silenced churchbells and toss my pearls to rabid junkies
who spread their seeds across scars left open for the night and surrendered to nothing but the electric sky where their skins break open and my pulse shatters in the rain
til I'm left strung out and malnourished on a Greyhound thirsty for one more whiskey river and one more dance with the lightning of the soul
and it can't kill
but my God it will
all becasue I left the turniquet undone
all because that jack knife lover is a long time gone
all because we know what we've become
all becasue I'm so god damn young
all because daddy never loved his son
it's not a battle lost or won it's just it's just
it's just a hard night falling down on Valley Street
it's just a dirty heat rising over you and me
I don't wanna believe in destiny, what is destiny
oh honey please if you wanna be cruel to me it's alright
so curse at your saviors and set your insides ablaze and
call all abandon
call all abandon
call all abandon
I was abondoned
I was abandoned
the light has come undone
I'm so god damn fucking young
daddy never loved his son

Speak to me
I see
i see the grass and the herb
I see the ink and sun on the page
I feel the black naked trees sleeping
I hear the creek laughing below me and my friends
I hear you singing thru the white walls covered in obscenities
I hear my nails scratching at your door
I feel the bars of iron growing cold
I saw a stray cat and I thought of me
I saw the ring around the moon and I thought of my longing for you
I see the rocks where we stood open in just our skin
I felt chest pains and hunger pangs and I wanted to climb up your hair
I saw me break before you
I heard you whisper
I heard you suffer
I heard your footsteps drifting up the stairs the night you walked away
I felt the dry skin of your open palm
and the chambers and the bones in your chest
I saw you sititng breathing still with your back straight against the frigid bark
I fel thte wet earth under me when I fell and bruised my legs and arms
I saw you staring into me
I saw the hair on your shoulders
I heard the tears in your throat
you never heard me pray
but I prayed for your touch and I'm still waiting

I've watched you dissapear
I've watched you undrape
I've bowed my head and I've cursed your name
I've staye dup all night listening to Janis and wailing 'you don't know, no you don't know what it's like to love anybody the way I love you babe'
I was cruel to you because you made me feel like being cruel to you then I begged to come inside
I told you a lie
you didn't tell me everything you knew

I embraced the pounding of the desolate sea where martyrs are drowned until I needed a home
I sat at your feet but you still felt alone
I've watche dyou walk down the same streets I did and the same streets I didn't
I saw arms of light through the fiery trees before the smoke and the air took them away
I tried to leave you and I saw the cracks in the sidewalk and the faces in the cars
and the weeds and the wood and the dust on the street signs
I spat and lit another cigarette and ran
til I purged by a white picket fence
I kicked at the broken glass
when I came back you were gone
it was dawn
you were tired, I was burning
I was burning
I was burning

but I know I was dancing in that small cafe
and your shirt was open as the band played a rhythm I'd never known before
were we drowning, I don't know
sometimes I was flying
sometimes I wonder if you can feel me trying

I felt the bricks of the columns
I felt the heat and the winds from last summer's storm
I felt the thorns and saw the blood of 98 wounds running from our veins
I felt a goodbye that never really came
I felt the night and I watned to share it with you but only if you wanted to
I wanna hold you if you want me to, only if you want me to
please say you want me to
I'd do anything, but I don't wanna do just anything
why do I follow you?

"On Top of the World"

another folk song that I added some of my own lyrics to

It was in the spring, some sunny day
Lord my good gal left me, she went away

yes she's gone, but I don't worry
'cause I'm sittin' on top of the world

There was no warning, of the decay
and she got no plans, to come back someday
I'm a baby wolf Lord, who's gone astray
down the street, to the other side of day

cause she's gone, but mama don't worry
'cause I'm sittin' on top of the world

My baby's eyes, they told me of a dream
I dream of you, Lord but all I can see
are these walkin' blues, that belong to thee
we may be weary, but somewhere I'm free

my baby's gone, but I don't worry
'cause I'm sittin' on top of the world

"Stay (Prayer for the Wild-Eyed Queen"

How many years must we wake up trembling
and cracking like shots in the night?
while you were running with the neon wolves
baby, you were my fire-light
baby, you were my fire-light

Stay awhile, wild-eyed queen

sometimes hearts can get so vacant
other times they're pressed to the bone
lately I'm just sending mine out there, babe
hopin' my love could be enough
hopin' my love could be enough

Stay awhile, wild-eyed queen

Well the stars shine down on you babe
maybe they're too bright for you to see
so far away, in your abondon
baby your halo fell over me
baby your halo fell over me

Stay alive, wild-eyed queen
stay alive, and fall back on me

"Will You Ever Miss Me?"

you're not too honest
but you don't mind
and you're not so loving
yet not quite unkind

well I broke the gate
but there was no one home
you were so casual
'bout leaving me alone


hey babe I'm burning now
hey babe I'm going down

Are you gonna miss me when I'm gone?
Will you wonder who's soul is free?
Are you gonna miss me once I'm gone
or just leave me to the dirty sea?

Once I bent my knees
down to the wood
and once you hurt me
because I said you could

I told you everything
I couldn't tell myself
yeah so you stole my veils
and tried to hide yourself

hey babe don't you know
hey babe I can't let go

Are you gonna miss me when I'm gone?
Will you wonder who's soul is free?
Are you ever gonna miss me when I'm gone?
Could you find someone like me?

Well the spirit sometimes
is blind to the day
and this renegade heart
wants to fall by the way

if you wanna break me
that would be okay
'cause what really kills me
is feeling so far away
so far away...

(standed, victimized
by the heat and stars
as the twilight rises
over the cheap rusty cars
I went lookin for my angel
in the fields and the bars
now you won't even ask
to take a look at my scars
oh no Glory's gone
oh no this task is done
Oh Mercy is on the run
Oh Lord I'm gone, so gone)

hey babe this pain is real
hey babe, can't you just feel...

Are you gonna miss me when I'm gone?
Will you wonder if this soul is free?
Are you ever gonna miss me when I'm really gone?
Could you ever run back to thee?

My Angel (part...something)

Tomorrow's just going to be there. . . it will have no room for what I'm feeling tonight. And right now there's not even enough room for a solid explanation. . . . my clothes have gotten lose, I'm craving another cheap cigar, "Desolation Row" just ended and that's the end of that record.
Everyone's supposed to be able to see Mars tonight, but when I looked out I couldn't find it, I just stood out there barefoot, staring at the mist-covered Heavens and gave that look of "well, where are we now?" and I couldn't decide whther to reach out or turn away, as usual.
A furry smoke colored cat looked at me before padding off across the rain-denched street. . . . And right now I'm sitting at my desk next to my window, scribbling away, no words for prayer, a stack of forms to be filled out and mailed. . . .
and the point is that it's too cold for Alabama and I'm tired of pouring everything in me out into the night sky outside that damn window and I just want to lie down and sleep next to you tonight.

Stray cat moves 'cross an empty street
everybody's inside
I went lookin' for my angel
Have ya left me behind?

Sleaze (midnight Row)

not much....just seeing if I could pull this off. Not sure about it.

well it's gotten so hot in here babe
don't it make ya feel uneasy?
well it's gotten so dark out there babe
don't it make everyone seem uneasy?

well I see she's lookin' at you
after everybody else is gone
I know who's on your mind
but God I can't stay long

I'm riding low,
past the highlands,
down to Midnight Row

once you needed an angel
but the angel was spent
luckily babe you're so willing to, uh,
settle for what you can get

Yes I know that you're thinking
you might just walk out with me
but first explain what she's doing
with her fingers runnin' up your sleeve

I'm gonna ride low,
past the Highlands,
down to Midnight Row

Seems like the night is wailin'
but you don't wanna live without
you could come home with me
but that aint what this is about

So I'll make no promise, babe
and leave you two the scene
if it's not twisted enough for ya
babe you know where I'll be

Guess I'm ridin' low,
far from the Highlands,
down on Midnight Row